What To Consider When Writing Your Wedding Vows - Eternity

What To Consider When Writing Your Wedding Vows

2nd November 2023

Traditionally, we didn’t really used to have wedding vows be part of our ceremonies, as couples would read out or sign their vows aligning to the religious ceremony that you opted for. However nowadays, with the rise of civil wedding ceremonies, wedding speeches, and incorporating your own vows into your religious ceremony: couples always ask us for help on what to include.

We have teamed up with Provenance: whose mission is to help couples write personalised & meaningful wedding scripts, vows & toasts. 

Crafting your wedding vows can be a daunting task, with many couples struggling to find the right words and a starting point. In this article, we will show you how to compose your wedding vows in a stress-free manner, ensuring they reflect the unique story of your love.

Born in the US, Provenance is used & loved by thousands of couples worldwide!


Is There a Template or Outline for Writing Wedding Vows?

While templates are readily available for wedding vows, they often lead to vows that sound generic and lack a personal touch. Your vows should be genuine and distinctive, resonating with your unique love story. Instead of relying on templates, follow these essential guidelines:

Start with appreciation or sharing your love story

Express your gratitude for your partner and recount your love story, including the challenges that have fortified your connection.

This should take up around 1 minute – 140-170 words.

Make promises

Pledge specific actions or commitments that are tailored to your relationship, ensuring they are heartfelt and sincere.

This should take up around 1 minute – 140-170 words.

Acknowledge your loved ones

Recognise the roles your friends and family have played in your journey and convey your commitment to integrating both your communities.

This should take 30 seconds – 70-85 words.

A heartfelt declaration

Summarise your vows with a touching declaration that encapsulates the essence of your love and your shared vision of the future.

This should take 30 seconds – 70-85 words.


The Provenance Vow Builder offers thought-provoking questions to guide you through each of these considerations, making it easy to weave together your per


DO's: Writing your wedding vows

● Embrace honesty and authenticity. Avoid clichés and overly flowery language.

● Aim for balance with your partner’s vows to prevent awkward discrepancies.

● Keep your vows a surprise for each other, but have a mutual friend review them for balance.

● Rehearse your vows in advance to ensure you convey your emotions as intended.

● Stay prepared and composed with water and tissues.

DONT's: Writing your wedding vows

● Share overly embarrassing stories or anecdotes.

● Read your vows off your phone; opt for a printed copy or vow booklet.

● Leave your vows to improvisation. Preparation is essential.

how to begin writing your wedding vows

If you’re unsure of where to start with your vows, here’s a step-by-step guide:

Step 1: Set the Length and Tone using the Provenance Vow Builder to ensure a harmonious balance with your partner’s vows.

Step 2: Reflect on Your Love Story by answering thoughtfully curated questions in the Provenance Vow Builder to overcome writer’s block and rekindle special moments.

Step 3: Put It All Together, Review, and Share your vows with a trusted individual to ensure they are heartfelt and engaging.



What if we get emotional while saying our vows?

Emotions are natural, and they add authenticity to your vows. Keep tissues handy and take your time.

How long should our wedding vows be?

Aiming for approximately 30 seconds to 3 minutes of speaking time each strikes a balance between being meaningful and concise.

Can we include anecdotes in our wedding vows?

 Certainly, and specific anecdotes add a personal touch to your vows.

How humorous should we be in our wedding vows?

As must as respectfully possible! Be tasteful and considerate of your audience.

Should we write our vows together or separately?

This choice is personal, so discuss what feels right for both of you.

Can we incorporate traditional vows into our own?

Absolutely, and it’s common to blend tradition with your unique promises.

When should we finalise our vows?

We recommend having your vows ready a few weeks before the wedding to allow for revisions and practice.

Help! I have writers block.

Taking breaks, seeking inspiration, and engaging in discussions with your partner can help overcome writer’s block.

What's the best way to read my vows?

Paper, we suggest avoiding reading from your phone. The key is to practice reading them aloud before the big day.

Do I have to memorise my vows?

Memorisation is optional; reading your vows is completely acceptable and more common.

Can I get help in writing my vows?

Of course, professional wedding vow writers can provide valuable assistance.

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