How To Write A Wedding Speech: Advice From The Experts - Eternity

How To Write A Wedding Speech: Advice From The Experts

30th May 2023

Wedding speeches can be the most daunting things to write & deliver, especially when it comes to finding the right balance of wit & emotion; but ultimately, they are also the most fun parts of the wedding.

Most of the time, there will inevitably be people attending the wedding who don’t know both parties of the couple as well; so this is the perfect way to learn more about them & their journey. We’ve compiled a list of tips & tricks to write the perfect wedding speech!


The basics of wedding speeches

Who gives the wedding speeches & toasts?

The wedding speeches are usually given by those individuals who have a close relationship with either partner, or the couple itself.

Traditionally, the wedding speeches have been given by the Best Man, Maid of Honour, Father of the Bride & the Groom. More recently, couples choose to balance out the speeches with both sets of parents giving speeches, and both partners choosing to speak too.

Ultimately, it comes down to your personal preference and who you would like to play this role on your big day. 

Regardless, make sure you are aware of who is giving a speech beforehand, as opposed to an ‘open mic’ situation where a random Chacha takes over; which is never great!

How many wedding speeches should we have?

Usually, around 5 speeches is the absolute maximum. Alongside this, you want to ensure that each speech lasts around 3-5 minutes.

If you have too many speeches, you might risk it getting slightly boring & repetitive for your wedding guests.

The main exception to this is the groom / couple. Those speeches will inevitably be longer, especially if want to include quite a few thank you’s in them.

When do the wedding speeches take place?

The speeches most commonly take place at the wedding reception. Most couples opt for speeches pre-dinner, sometimes post-dinner. 

You want to avoid any food service at the time of speeches, as the waiters can block the view & the food can cause distractions.

If you do want to keep the speeches a private affair, you can always do them at a pre-wedding event, like a Sangeet or a rehearsal event.

Do we have to do thank you's at our wedding speech?

Not necessarily! Whilst it can be a nice-to-have, you also don’t need to thank every single family member or supplier.

If you really want to, it’s nice to do a few short & sweet thank you’s or shoutouts.

Often couples replace any ‘thank you’s’ with the parents with ‘promises’, which is often a nice touch.

steps to writing a wedding speech

Honestly, the trickiest part of writing a wedding speech is knowing where to start. The best thing to do to begin with, is to create a rough bulleted list of your relationship with either partner or the couple. Don’t go into the specifics, just stick to about 3 of the basic things that you think of when you look at them. 

Then, take a look at the following to help:

A few questions to ask yourself before you start:

● What is the general vibe? Are you naturally more witty, or more emotional? Don’t force it! Ensure that your speech is true to you & your genuine relationship with the couple.

● Who is speaking before or after you? You may want to be slightly aware of the vibe of the person speaking before or after you. Guests & the couple will hear the speeches in succession, so cater to that accordingly.

● Do you have a favourite memory with the couple? Or when you were initially introduced to their partner?

● Is there any advice you would like to give them?

1) Introduce yourself

Don’t assume that everyone in the room knows who you are! They most likely do, but be sure to give a brief explanation of your relationship to the couple. This is especially necessary if you are friends of the couple.

2) Tell a relevent story

This is often a nice segway from introducing yourself, possibly mention a story about how you grew up together. When doing this, you want the crowd to understand more about the partner, and some of their wonderful qualities too.

The story can be funny or emotional – anything from the heart!

Try not to use too many inside jokes, as this can often be boring for the guests, and they won’t be able to relate.

3) Think about when you met their partner

Give everyone the inside scoop! Your first impressions on their partner, or how they first introduced the two of you – there’s bound to be lots of emotion & entertaining stories from this.

4) Talk about any advice for their future

Another great option to be witty & charming – talk about any wise words of wisdom you may (or may not!) have for the couple. Be sure to make your advice heartfelt and personal.

5) Finish with a toast

Ending the speech is just as scary as starting it, so the best way to do so is with a toast. Raise a glass to the happy couple!


No more than 3 inside jokes!

Self explanatory – don’t overdo it!

Don't drink too much beforehand

We get it, it’s your closest person’s special day, and we all love an open bar; but don’t overdo it right before your speech. You don’t want to be slurring on your words or being too animated and knocking a glass over – oops.

A bit of liquid courage is great, but pace yourself beforehand.

It's a toast, not a roast

Whilst a cheeky wedding speech is a beautiful addition, you really don’t want to make it into a roast and humiliate the couple. If you have any funny stories that you are itching to share, keep them for the wedding guest book. 

Avoid using crude language, inappropriate innuendos, or mentioning past relationships. Whilst this is all great to do at a hen or a stag, it’s not the right fit for a reception room full of guests of all ages.

Practice beforehand

There is no harm in reading your wedding speech out to someone before the wedding, to get their feedback on the length of it and your pace of speaking.

Most of the time, you possibly haven’t spoken in front of large crowds before, and practice makes perfect.

Write your speech down

No one is asking you to have your entire wedding speech memorised. This isn’t an exam!

Don’t get conscious about having a piece of paper, or your notes app opened up on your phone. There’s a good chance you can go blank as soon as you start, or tear up with tons of emotion, so you want to have something on hand to bring you back to centre and ready to smash the incredible speech.

Don't stress

Honestly, there is no pressure. Don’t stress about what you are going to say too much. The chances are, the couple have chosen you to deliver a speech because you play an important role in their life – you got this.